Retail Therapy

Why does spending money make us feel better sometimes? What is it that really just drives a woman to shop, sometimes not even buying a thing. I know it sure clears my mind when I head to the mall or the shopping center, and I typically do this alone. Tomorrow will be different, though. 

I'm headed out shopping in a pre-planned retail therapy adventure with my roommate. We sure have a lot to talk about, meaning we'll be shopping for a long time.. hopefully my frustration doesn't all come out at once on my credit card. It might hurt the poor thing to be swiped multiple times, though.. and by poor, I don't feel bad for it.. I've just got to check my funding!

If my headache doesn't go away by tomorrow, I might have to leave my wallet in the car so I can drop my cash on a massage or a facial at @UrbanNirvana- it really helped me feel better last time.. it's just expensive!

It does amaze me that shopping often times lets out frustrations with school, girlfriend drama, stress, and most of all for now- boys. What a consistent topic. Boys just seem to be heartbreakers. It's just that a lot of the time they don't really know it. It's not like we can tell them though- at least most of the time I'm not willing to start that conversation. I just feel like sometimes they just don't get it. But what can you do? Certainly not just sit around and sulk. That's not worth it, there's more fish in the sea, right? Well I'm trying to follow my own advice there in a sense, but also kind of wait it out. Patience is a virtue, and God sure has graced me with a lot of it. 

It's funny to see how some people can pick up on so much, except for what's right in front of their faces. Or hate drama, and avoid it, except they don't realize that they are actually part of it! I like people to call me out on situations such as these, and I think that others should be more willing to hear it themselves. But some people just always have to be right.. 

Too funny.. is what it's NOT. It's actually not laughable at all. Sometimes it's people picking up their pride, other times it's really just tests.. of faith, hope, and love. Faith in yourself, in the potential other, in God that you're doing the right thing/ that you're listening the right way.. Hope that there is potential, that you don't mess things up, that you don't get your hopes up.. Love of yourself, of others, of God, from God, that you long for.

So the greatest of these is love, right? And how will we find this by shopping? Good question. 

It may not be the best idea, especially for me, but hopefully by the end of tomorrow we'll be feeling better and looking good in our new clothes, shoes, make up, or whatever we decide to buy.. 

And maybe he'll notice.

XOXO

The Little Things

Today, I have really discovered my greatest pet peeve. Many of you may indeed share in this top annoyance of mine, and if not, I'm sure that you'll still understand. It's the little things. It's the noises when it's supposed to be quiet to crunching of chips when people don't chew with their mouths closed, the munching of popcorn during a movie when the action has clearly stalled, the accumulation of whispers during a test- or ever worse, the tapping ad clicking of pens. Mostly, I think it's the food thing. But really, there's so much that is really so little that disturbs my everyday life and habits. While sitting in a quiet room, trying to have finally have a chill moment to myself, I caught myself cringing at other people typing away on their keyboards, random comments, crinkling papers, and heavy breathing. I had two options here; leave or leap for my headphones. It took a lot of me not to saying anything, which I knew would end terribly, as I'm pretty sure I already sound like a b*t*h here, but a literally bit my tongue as I took a few steps across the room to pick them up out of my purse. It was almost too long before I screamed. No, I didn't really scream but I thought I was going to! 

That's when I started to take a step back and look at the bigger picture, which helped me get back in the chill mode. Obviously these little sounds in the "quiet" created a build-up of annoyance in my mind to where I just wanted to punch a wall. Here's the thing: I'm doing the same thing. I'm rapidly pecking away at my keyboard, trying to be in my own world when people want to implement conversation, randomly coughing, etc. Why am I not as annoyed with myself?

It's because I didn't catch myself. I don't think about it when it's just me, or me being the annoyance, but I'm absolutely positive that I annoy people at times, and even more frequently than that. But it's the little things that add up together, or even by themselves produce such disturbances, in not just my life but throughout humanity. Random comments, social status, the way people dress, competition for friends, boys, or attention, little habits: these are prime examples of the small things in life that just pours out unnecessary commotion. 

These little things, as I clearly like to call them, are just nonsense, really. Why is it that I can't stand these "noises" or disturbances in community that factor in to everyday life. I am supposed to have patience for these things, right? What is it that makes me develop a strong annoyance for the person creating these disturbances instead of the pet-peeves themselves? I'm baffled. 

But here, again, it's a lot easier to give advice to others than to follow it myself. TRUTH. 

Well at least they are just little things; unfortunately they are not rare occurrences. We all just need to break these blockades down into the little pieces that they are and expose reality. Drama, fighting, annoyance; these are all things created out of the little things in life.. diverged from typically nothing at all. This is what we really all ought to think about on a daily basis. Stop letting these smaller matters become bigger deals than they actually are. It's ridiculous to think that the drama one day is "why is that boy hanging out with her?" or "I had that outfit first," and there's obviously a lot more, but I know you get the point: it's that us stressing over the little things in life makes stumbling blocks that we just have to get over. These blockades are created form nothing, and there's people dying and suffering across the planet from earthquakes, floods, hunger, etc. It's just sad, really, to think that nothing can be so much. And next time I get annoyed by these little crunches, crinkles, and heavy breathing, I'll need to step back and THANK GOD that I have people in my life to eat with, hangout with and talk to instead of wanting to smack them upside the head so that it's quiet. I'll just take a breather or a NTB moment, as my roommate and I decided means a "needtobreathe moment"- like the band, yes. 

So, that's it. I refuse to cry over spilt milk, as long as it doesn't soak into the carpet and smell up the apartment.

XOXO Ashley